So much has changed since I last posted. I've been going through some hardships and serious changes, but all is well. I can say with certainty that I am a changed person. You know how sometimes something happens that your whole life perspective just changes? Yeah. Well, that happened to me, and now I am not so afraid of life anymore. I'm stronger and braver and a lot more confident.
I guess you're all wondering what happened to evoke such a change. Well, this Christmas my mom got diagnosed with cancer. I know, ouch. It was such a blow to our family. There had never really been a huge tragedy-like thing in our immediate or extended family, so we were all scared. I swear, the day my mom came back from the doctors, the very second she and my dad came through the door, I knew it was bad. There was a dark cloud of sadness in the house those first few days. There was a lot of crying.
Luckily we had the holidays to distract us, and for a while, we forgot all about the cancer. Once the holidays were over, though, my mom's doctor said that she should start chemotherapy as soon as possible. That was when the news really hit me hard. I cried a whole day.
The next day, though, I felt okay. Not just okay, but I felt great. I felt very carpe diem and happy and peaceful. I looked back at the things that used to weigh heavy on my mind (like getting a lot of views on deviantArt. I know, shallow.) which now seemed stupid. Now the little details of life are what makes me happiest. I see the moon in my window, I am am happy. I get a new pair of glasses, and I am happy. I go to my first day of school, and I'm happy, something the me-from-the-past would have scoffed at. I am brave at talking to people, and I no longer worry about what people think of me. My heart is filled with the joy of life and living.
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| I drew this while listening to Sarah by Bat For Lashes. Random, but I thought it kind of fit with the whole post. |
My mom has taken the news with real grace. She's started reading "The Power of Now" and she says that it has helped her. She hasn't started chemo yet, so she still feels as good and energetic as always. But she has been in and out of hospitals and doctors' offices a lot, which is something that will be happening often. I am very proud of her for being so positive and strong.
To finish this long-ass post off, I want to add that I would like to start blogging again, though this will not be the lame fashion blog I had in mind when I started. I am going to write about things I like (books, movies, music, art), that inspire me, and my thoughts on stuff. And maybe a couple of interesting fashion posts.
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