TL;DR. Ye be Warned

I am so tied to my computer. It's an addiction, it really is. I'm thinking of restricting my internet usage a lot for the next year; A resolution, if you will.

It became clear to me this past week, when we were starting our final project in my drawing class. I had so much trouble coming up with an idea. (As whined about in this post) All I could think about was, "The internet will save me! The internet will give me ideas!" instead of coming up with ideas on my own. It's like I've become lazy when I have to be creative. Like I have no mind of my own. Instead of thinking something up myself, I check online to see what other people have come up with.

It explains the serious lack of writing, the major writer's block I have, and the artist's block. Another thing that sucks up any creativity I may have is mindless browsing. There is really no need for me to check my facebook and email more than twice a day, really. And yet, I spend my time on the internet clicking on yahoo and facebook and youtube over and over and over again, as if I expect something to change.

It's also been affecting my concentration. I never, ever have only one tab open. (even now. I'm typing this up and watching Fire and Ice on youtube.) If I ever, do, I quickly open a new one, because it feels like I should save time by multitasking. Now, I notice that even when I'm doing something not computer-related, I have to be doing something else too, just to save time. When I'm doing that, I don't fully concentrate on either thing.

Another thing that's bee a problem with me lately is spending way too much time watching TV shows. I feel like I'm watching too many at a time, ad I can't even keep track of what happened in which show. I swear, right now I am watching Battlestar Galactica, Clannad After Story, Mushi-Shi, Last Exile, X-Files, Avatar The Last Airbender, Doctor Who, and Firefly (the last three for the second time). Lost and Doctor Who alone have cost me most of my year. Now, I'm a lover of a good story, so I am definitely not cutting out TV shows altogether, but I am going to limit how many I am allowed to watch at one time (probably two is all I can handle).

Now, I don't want this post to be just about the things I am going to cut out, but also what I am going to focus on this year. Reading, for one. I miss the feeling of getting sucked in to a story to the point of not being able to put it down, to the point that I cry at a character's loss and cheer at their successes. I have not gotten to that point in hardly any book that I've read this year, because of my internet-an-tv-fueled ADD. I've read a fair few books, but too sporadically. So a focus on reading for next year.

Playing video games may come as a surprising thing to focus on, but it is something that I have too long abandoned. I am talking specifically about Final Fantasy X and X-2. I miss the satisfaction of leveling up and defeating bosses. It is something that required quite a bit of dedication. I am one to replay old games like Spyro the Dragon and Jak 2 and Shadow of the Colossus over and over, never moving on to new games. So, finishing FFX and X-2, and trying out new games. Skyrim and KOTOR are on the top of the list.

Writing and art are, obviously, a huge thing I want to focus on. I still have to many characters in my head whom are begging to have their stories told, and I will not let them turn to dust. I have too many dreams that should have been drawn and made real, but have sadly wasted away in a brain that goes in a million different directions and has no time to concentrate on anything. I need a little bit of discipline.

Also, blogging. I still like blogging, because if feels like a grown up version of journaling, but I need to update less when I have nothing to say. I think I have one too many posts that just say LOL NOTHING'S HAPPENED BUT I FEEL LIKE POSTING MY FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS ANYWAY. No more. (I still may need to vent sometimes, but that's different.)

In conclusion (I know, finally) I really want to discipline myself, to learn to concentrate, to multitask less, and to finish more. Turn off the TV, turn on the music. Close the laptop, open a book. Yeah, that sounds good. It's my new mantra. And screw waiting until January. I'm starting now. :D I feel very motivated.

HAIR, Y U NO BUTT-LENGTH ALREADY?

I am cleaning my room, listening to E-Type (Free Like A Flying Demon- good song), looking forward to a hot chocolate later and maybe a couple hours of playing my old Jak 2 game. I have nothing to complain about.

:D

I'm oddly happy despite a hefty art final that I have to do and mom's chemo tomorrow. I'm not complaining at all, this is a very nice mood I'm in.

Here's a random picture of me I just found, lookin like an elf. :P I am a weirdo.

What does it meeean???

I'm on the last season of Lost, and all I can say is GODDAMN FINALLY. I like this show and it keeps me really hooked, but sometimes I want to punch the writers in the face. And fuck them especially for killing off Sayid. (Oh, wait... he's alive!) Also fuck them for boring us with Sawyer-Kate-Jack love triangle. Still, I expect some answers.

My couch is annoyingly squeaky.

I am going to force myself to write and draw today. Now that I seem to have found my muse! :'D

Random thoughts of the morning.

Hmm. Ren faire was really cool. I wouldn't mind going again in the spring, this time in a much better outfit.

Mom starts another round of chemo tomorrow, and today my dad is going out of town and isn't coming back til Friday. I feel like a huge coward for wanting him here. I feel like I should be able to take care of my mom myself, but I get scared sometimes. Whatever, he's gone now.

Daylight savings is obsolete. 

I feel like a big pile of shit today. I have since last night. I can't draw at all either, so that's not helping. I seem to be a big empty creative-less shell.

Mmm... bacon...

Whee, I am going to the Renaissance Faire today!!! I'm so excited.

I am going to take a shower now, which means that it will be very cold. D: I abhor showering in the morning.

I also happen to have about four hundred dollars to my name right now, which I am going to use to buy myself a new laptop. Any old cheap thing will do, I just want it for games and my art. :) Anything will be better than the stupid laptop I was using for art. Yeah, it still won't turn on. It's reached the end of its life. RIP.

I am also hungry, and I'm craving bacon.

edit: Mmmm, bacon. <3

Coffee is amour.

Phew! Finished the art project last night. I tried to take a picture of it, but the thing has a serious glare.

I went out to see Paranormal Activity 3 on Saturday with several friends. It was more funny than scary to be honest, but I had heard that it was really scary, so I was covering my eyes the entire time but was somewhat disappointed. It was made funnier by the LOUD outbursts from my scared-as-hell friend. Oh, and he's gay and hilarious. This is important.

SPOILERS, in case anyone reads this and cares. 

*Little person under a sheet appears in frame.*

My friend: "DANG GIRL, GO BACK TO BED."

People in the theater: *laugh* *Secretly thinking that my friend is going to a special hell for talking during the movie.*

*Little person under the sheet is now behind the blonde babysitter.*

My friend: "Oooh, girl, ooh, girl-"

 *Person disappears from under the sheet, leaving it in a crumpled heap on the floor*

Entire theater: *Screams*

My friend (much louder than everyone else): "OH MY GAH OH MY GAAAHH!"


Heh, well, it was kind of a had-to-be-there moments.

I am finally going to color some comics. Now that I have time. :)

Taking a break from homework.

I am not used to homework anymore. I swear on the entire Greek pantheon that I have been working on this goddamn piece since nine this morning. IT IS NOW ALMOST TEN HOURS LATER. AND I AM NOT CLOSE TO FINISHING. I AM ACTUALLY STUCK. Grrr, this thing is due on Monday.

Urgh, I'm obviously not going to do anything this weekend. Except I do have plans. :P Just for tomorrow afternoon, so I will probably definitely be working nonstop in the morning and all of Sunday, bloody Sunday. >:( Poopie.

And if that wasn't all, for some reason, when I actually have stuff like homework to get done, my brain decides to get all inspired to write. Seriously Muses, where the hell were you last week when I actually had nothing to do?!?! Not funny. Come back on Monday, when all this shit is over and done with.

After all the work I've been doing, this better be the Best Thing Ever Drawn By Me, or else.

I had a bacon cheeseburger today.

The Spanish-dubbed version of Napoleon Dynamite is hilarious, but for an entirely different reason than the English version. I usually don't mind English dubbing of foreign movies, but I never thought of how it might sound in reverse. Now I know. o.O I'm pretty sure they only have two voice actors for the entire movie, one female and one male.

So, I've wanted to write and illustrate a children's book for a long time now. Thing is, it's really hard. I know, I know, how fucking hard can it be? But for some goddamn reason, it is. Like, I kind of know what the theme is going to be, and the main character, and even a little bit of the plot, but I'm still having slight issues planning how it's going to look. I want the drawings to be the main focus, but I want the writing to be entertaining, too. Maybe I'm thinking too much into this. -__-

Estradia is still my main focus, though. ^_^

Emily Browning is purdy.

Egypt Tuesday was on Planet Green today. :D So that was awesome.

I'm watching Sucker Punch now. Seem cool. We'll see. Oooh, Action Scene Number One (Samurai dudes) is awesome.

I'm drawing some comics, too. I'm on a comic-drawing roll!

Scattered thoughts of the day.

Te quiero puta! Hehe Rammstein *heart*

To Do Next Week 10/10 to 10/14:

• For the love of all that's holy, FINISH THAT BOOK YOU STARTED READING LIKE A MONTH AGO. Seriously, it'll take you three hours, tops. Just turn off the damn computer for one evening and do it!
• Register to vote. Don't stress about the political party. As long as you're not a Republican, you're golden. 
• Write one chapter of your Estradia novel. Just one. Don't worry about the planning, you'll fix that later. Just, ONE, chapter, is that so hard?
• Drive. Drive anywhere. To school, to Ralph's, to Target, to downtown Chula Vista. Everywhere. Work your way up to the highway.
• Think very very seriously about what I want to do next semester. If you're thinking of declaring a major, talk to a counselor about it. If you're going to work, THEN APPLY FOR A GODDAMN JOB!!! It's not that fucking hard.
• You're doing pretty good at keeping your room organized, so keep it up. Don't listen to your mother who tells you that it's too cluttered. It's not clutter, mother, it's just my room's personality.
• Start selling your art. Your family wants to buy some of it. You need the monies. DO IT.
• Go to the library and check out books on Egypt. 'Cause you know you want to.
• Oh, yeah, and do that homework thing for your jewelry class. And buy paper for your drawing class.
• Remember that Draw It Again meme you were planning on doing? Get off your lazy ass and do it.

That sounds right.  The reality is I'll probably accomplish about seven of these, maximum. I'm an idiot. Je suis une idiote. Une belle idiote. Hehe. Sometimes I pretend I speak French.

Yerushalayim shel zahav

Went out of town, haven't written in a while. It was my grandma's 78th birthday. I gave her this angel drawing and she liked it. :)



Angel by ~Dannygirl123 on deviantART


Too tired to write any more.

I've been feeling lethargic today.

I got the last book of the Leviathan series (Goliath) from Amazon and it arrived last night. Of course, I read it all at once. Good ending, man.




Anyway. My stomach is still in annoyingly delicate condition. At least I'm not too nauseated anymore.

I really want to write, but I am a little blocked. Ugh. I guess for now I'll just read and start drawing the picture for my niece Andrea. Even though I seriously don't know what to draw for her. *.*

I... just realized how many books I have in my bookcase that I have not read. I'll have to get right on that.

Wearing my very cool Doctor Who shirt. :D

Whoo. Getting back into a productive routine is weird after being shut up in my room reading for almost three days straight. I looked out the window and hissed at the morning. Heh, well, I'm painting now, so, no long-term harm done. ;)

Lol at my mom, though. She signed up for one of those fake-ass get rich quick things you see advertised all over the internet. I told her it was probably fake, and she had to call this number to cancel her account. My mom doesn't think it's funny, but I think it's hilarious.

My mom had the idea to tutor kids who needed extra help with math and stuff a while back, and I told her that she should get started by signing up for a tutoring agency online and advertising, and she did! :)

Listening to this while I work:



Also, no surprise that Peter Dinklage won an Emmy. He's awesome.

Changed the theme! Brown is soothing, methinks.

Nyeh nyeh nyeh. I don't know what to say. I didn't do much today. Worked out in the morn. Treadmill and then ab blaster from fit tv. Something like that. Then I watched a couple of episodes of Lost while I worked on one of my school projects. I'm now going to paint a little angel for my grandma. I hope she likes it. :D I talked with some people in my art class about videogames and stuff, and I feel like a complete noob compared to them. I am a noob. :P

And. Yeah. It seems like all my post end like this nowadays.

I like turtles.

I'd like to get back in the habit of writing on this blog again. I still think Livejournal is cooler, but I already have so many posts here, so yeah.

Well, I've been seriously fleshing out my Estradia novel. I've started writing again, and I've been drawing the characters. Here's a sneaky peek (I also did character profiles on them, very long ones that I don't feel like posting here, but they're in the description of the drawings):

This one is the crappy one I did at four in the morning:



Zeline Tammen by ~Dannygirl123 on deviantART

And this one is better:



Rodan Evardos by ~Dannygirl123 on deviantART

I'm also working on something for my sister's best friend's 15th birthday. (I guess she's my friend too, haha, but it's more accurate to say my sister's friend.) Huh, that's weird. My sister and her friends are 15 fucking years old. For a moment there, I felt old. Is that sad?

I'm still reading Interview with a Vampire. I'm not sure if I like it yet, even though I'm halfway through the book. Heh, I guess I don't like it much, which is strange, since I loved the movie. Usually books are better. Next on my reading agenda is Kitty and the Midnight Hour, which seems like a very cool book.

I'm kinda hungry.

Yay! Game of Thrones is on On Demand again! I shall watch it all bwahaha. I saw a guy at school that had a House Lannister shirt. I'm more of a Stark person myself, but whatever floats your boat.

Lots of art things and stuff. The DarlingMionette twin contest has closed and the winner will be announced on Monday! D: I cannot wait that long. Working working working on art until then.

I just did this:


Franny and Penelo by ~Dannygirl123 on deviantART


I haven't been writing on this thing too much anymore. I dunno.

Art and stuff.

Things have been boring. School is boring. The only excitement in my life right now is the contest I entered. DarlingMionette is holding a contest for her and her twins' birthday. (her twin and her's birthday? her twin and she's birthday? No, that looks wrong. I have no idea how you would say that. Oh well.) I entered these two:



Victorian Pirates by ~Dannygirl123 on deviantART


Twins- Brenna and Kylie by ~Dannygirl123 on deviantART


Yyyyep. I like the Victorian Steampunk girls better.  I really hope to win. :D Going shopping today, so I guess that's cool. I need some more jeans, you know, some that actually fit. Also a long, ruffley skirt. Kinda like this one:

YALALA ...

Today was the first day of school. Teacher was very cool. I  don't feel much like writing a lot, but I thought a little update was in order.

Um, I got a PS2 game in the mail today: GrimGrimoire. Also, I got two posters:

Hmm, what else? I've been drawing stuffsies. May do an art post later. Hrm, maybe. I already have some homework. >:(

Sad about closing bookstores, but happy at 25 to 50 percent off!

I went to Borders today. I'm kinda bummed that they're closing, but I got some books there for a really good price!

Thirst series by Christopher Pike, one of my favorite authors. All three for about seven dollars.

Aaaand, this little gem. When I draw, the poses are so stiff, so I'm hoping this will help me. Draw Comic Book Action

I'm currently reading this: (omg creeper)

I'm on a total vampire craze for some reason. Also, in case it's not obvious, I'm wearing my PE shirt from middle school. As jammies.

Obligatory camwhore shot:

Lol I totally ignored this list of books I was planning to read this year.

Hmmm, what happened to my old Monster Book of Manga? I swear it was around here somewhere...

I felt like I needed to update. I don't know why. Nothing much has happened. I've done a bit of art, I posted some videos on my youtube. Hehe, they're a little weird and awkward, but, you know, whatever. ;)

The night after my last post (about the army thing) I cried myself to sleep after wondering what's the point of it all? Life, I mean. Well, I know it sounds kinda stupid now, but insomnia is a bitch. I'm okay now, except for when I have nothing to do, then I'm just depressed.

But I still feel antsy. Like I have to get up and get out. Why am I so afraid of change?

I really do hate myself sometimes. Ah well. I'm going to watch Chobits on Netflix now. And maybe eat my feelings. Just kidding.

Aaaand, to make this post not boring, here's that art thing I made. :) I'm actually kind of proud of it!