There are times when my need for independence is so great I don't know what to do with myself. It comes at me like a slap in the face. I need to be out on my own and live my life. I can't have my parents with me forever. I feel so sheltered and babied and stupid.
It came at me today. I was just there, sitting at the table with my mom and dad. I'm not sure what triggered it, but I suddenly thought, damn, I need to move out, I can't effing stand it here. I feel a bit guilty for thinking that. I have very supportive parents. They're not strict, but they're not apathetic, either. They're pretty much the best parents ever. But I still want to be out on my own.
There's the obvious problem: Lack of money and job. It all boils down to my fear of unknown. I'm such a fucking coward when it comes to finding a job. Maybe I can start out volunteering or something. I don't know.
It's times like these when I feel like a shit excuse for a person and want to just cry and sleep. Unfortunately I still haven't finished the damn art project due tomorrow, so I'm going to have to do that now and possibly all through the night.
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