I really hate school sometimes. It's all a really big goddamn hassle. I just want a nice job that pays relatively well (not even well well, just something that pays enough). But no. I have to go to school and get a degree, because according to society, if I don't go to college I'm a failure.
...They're probably right. I'm such a lazy, cowardly piece of shit. I wish I had the balls to be my own hero. I'm too quiet, too shy, too fucking complacent, and, contradictorily, too restless and too much of a dreamer. I seriously don't know what to do with myself sometimes .
I want to go out there into the world, guns blazing, but I'm too scared. I really loathe the coward inside of myself. I'm in a constant state of discontent and waiting. I always seem to be waiting for something to happen instead of doing shit myself.
Ugh. I need some kind of personality transplant. I need a TON of growing and changing to do. Why am I so goddamn lame? Is it genetic? Were my parents this shy and cowardly? I find that hard to believe. They both seem so tough.
Ffffffffuuuuuuuuuu- I think it's close to That Time again. -__- Okay, enough hating on myself. I'm going to watch Lost or something. Yeah.
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