I need to let off some steam.

Dear mom,

I don't know if you do it because you are concerned or if you just have no filter, but I really don't appreciate you criticizing my body. "Sit up straight so your stomach doesn't stick out" and poking my stomach while making a face is not an okay thing to do when A) I'm already well aware of my belly fat, B) I'm actually working on it, even if you don't believe it, and C) It's not your problem anyway.

I mean, Jesus, do I really disgust you that much? Am I an embarrassment as a daughter? It's no secret that I had TONS of body image issues when I was younger (and still have my moments of feeling gross). I even told you about that time I starved myself for a week.

WHY DO YOU FEEL THE NEED TO POINT OUT MY IMPERFECTIONS? I ALREADY MAGNIFY THEM OUT OF PROPORTION SOMETIMES, I DON'T NEED YOU MAKING IT WORSE.

Oh, and when I tell you that your comment hurt me, you tell me I'm too delicate. If I ever did that to you (which I never will, because I have some goddamn consideration) you'd be pissed too. If you ever get the urge to point another thing wrong with me, just remember that I have feelings too. I think sometimes you forget.

-Dani

Omnis Mundi Creatura - Helium Vola

I have teeny tiny 2 pound weights here next to my bed. I want to use them several times a day, gain even a little muscle. Yeah. I've also started using the Wii Fit again. (omg was it mean when it weighed me) Small steps toward being healthy again. I have lost five or six pounds since this summer, but I want to be back down to 125 or less. I gained weight during the Great Black Hole of 2009-2010 (two years of my life that seemed to have disappeared. Seriously, zero happened during those two years. They are lost to me forever.), about fifteen pounds in total, five or six of which I've lost already.

So, Wii Fit, walking on the treadmill, bellydance (shut it), little weights, pushups (2 sets of 20 reps). And trying to eat smaller portions. 

Yeah, I know. Cool story, bro.

Listening to said New Age CD

Okay, I see now why I thought that CD was full of Egyptian music:

Totally Egyptian

Seriously though, my mom got this pirated CD in Mexico sometime in the late nineties, and there are some serious spelling errors on it. Meat Lofft? Green Slaves? (Meat Loaf and Greensleeves. lol) And the art on it is a seriously bad photoshop job. You gotta give us Mexicans credit though. They could have left the whole thing blank and just sharpied the song names in. (I seriously said serious to many times in this paragraph. Seriously.)

The days are starting to cool down, and I'm kind of happy about it. It means layers, and scarves and boots and stuff. :D Oooh, and hot chocolate. 

Heehee. I slept with socks on last night, something I don't usually like to do.

Eh, I'm off to work out. It'd be nice to have some muscle, you know? Also, Paulina has been teaching me how to bellydance, I'm off to practice. ;P

Changed the theme! Brown is soothing, methinks.

Nyeh nyeh nyeh. I don't know what to say. I didn't do much today. Worked out in the morn. Treadmill and then ab blaster from fit tv. Something like that. Then I watched a couple of episodes of Lost while I worked on one of my school projects. I'm now going to paint a little angel for my grandma. I hope she likes it. :D I talked with some people in my art class about videogames and stuff, and I feel like a complete noob compared to them. I am a noob. :P

And. Yeah. It seems like all my post end like this nowadays.

Hmmm... Me Gusta

I started exercising. I don't know if it's just me, but I like to pretend that I'm in a game and I'm "leveling up."

Ouch

I weighed myself today for the first time in, like, six months. Oh, god. It happens every year: I gain weight during the winter and then panic, and exercise like hell during the summer, lose weight, and then repeat.

It's weird, though. I don't feel ugly. You know? I want to do more exercise, for sure, but I don't feel the need to be skinny or anything. I just feel like I'm not healthy.

Yeah. 140 pounds is kind of ouch.

I want me a Cloche hat. 1920's Love!

So... what's new, what's new? I have a sunburn. Yeah. I've been swimming almost daily since about Friday. Am peeling and slightly tan, which I think looks weird on me. ~ Pale Skin Love~ Swims are really nice, exercise makes me feel good!

I'm watching the History Channel, something about the Dust Bowl. It's kind of sad how those people had to live through nearly-constant sandstorms.

Paulina's going to have her Confirmation today. I'm wearing a pretty black dress. :D Pics later, maybe.

Slacking in school. I'll be surprised if I get anything more than a low C in Literature. Damned essays. Econ is improving, but I still have a C, which is two letter grades lower than my dad expects. -__-

Geeky Y U NO face:

Oh, Oh! I watched the movie Henry and June last night. It was okay, a little unnecessarily florid, but I liked the clothes. I feel quite neutral about the sexual nature of the movie. I don't know, it didn't really move me or anything. I mostly wanted to watch the movie because I am a fan of Anais Nin's quotes.