TL;DR. Ye be Warned

I am so tied to my computer. It's an addiction, it really is. I'm thinking of restricting my internet usage a lot for the next year; A resolution, if you will.

It became clear to me this past week, when we were starting our final project in my drawing class. I had so much trouble coming up with an idea. (As whined about in this post) All I could think about was, "The internet will save me! The internet will give me ideas!" instead of coming up with ideas on my own. It's like I've become lazy when I have to be creative. Like I have no mind of my own. Instead of thinking something up myself, I check online to see what other people have come up with.

It explains the serious lack of writing, the major writer's block I have, and the artist's block. Another thing that sucks up any creativity I may have is mindless browsing. There is really no need for me to check my facebook and email more than twice a day, really. And yet, I spend my time on the internet clicking on yahoo and facebook and youtube over and over and over again, as if I expect something to change.

It's also been affecting my concentration. I never, ever have only one tab open. (even now. I'm typing this up and watching Fire and Ice on youtube.) If I ever, do, I quickly open a new one, because it feels like I should save time by multitasking. Now, I notice that even when I'm doing something not computer-related, I have to be doing something else too, just to save time. When I'm doing that, I don't fully concentrate on either thing.

Another thing that's bee a problem with me lately is spending way too much time watching TV shows. I feel like I'm watching too many at a time, ad I can't even keep track of what happened in which show. I swear, right now I am watching Battlestar Galactica, Clannad After Story, Mushi-Shi, Last Exile, X-Files, Avatar The Last Airbender, Doctor Who, and Firefly (the last three for the second time). Lost and Doctor Who alone have cost me most of my year. Now, I'm a lover of a good story, so I am definitely not cutting out TV shows altogether, but I am going to limit how many I am allowed to watch at one time (probably two is all I can handle).

Now, I don't want this post to be just about the things I am going to cut out, but also what I am going to focus on this year. Reading, for one. I miss the feeling of getting sucked in to a story to the point of not being able to put it down, to the point that I cry at a character's loss and cheer at their successes. I have not gotten to that point in hardly any book that I've read this year, because of my internet-an-tv-fueled ADD. I've read a fair few books, but too sporadically. So a focus on reading for next year.

Playing video games may come as a surprising thing to focus on, but it is something that I have too long abandoned. I am talking specifically about Final Fantasy X and X-2. I miss the satisfaction of leveling up and defeating bosses. It is something that required quite a bit of dedication. I am one to replay old games like Spyro the Dragon and Jak 2 and Shadow of the Colossus over and over, never moving on to new games. So, finishing FFX and X-2, and trying out new games. Skyrim and KOTOR are on the top of the list.

Writing and art are, obviously, a huge thing I want to focus on. I still have to many characters in my head whom are begging to have their stories told, and I will not let them turn to dust. I have too many dreams that should have been drawn and made real, but have sadly wasted away in a brain that goes in a million different directions and has no time to concentrate on anything. I need a little bit of discipline.

Also, blogging. I still like blogging, because if feels like a grown up version of journaling, but I need to update less when I have nothing to say. I think I have one too many posts that just say LOL NOTHING'S HAPPENED BUT I FEEL LIKE POSTING MY FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS ANYWAY. No more. (I still may need to vent sometimes, but that's different.)

In conclusion (I know, finally) I really want to discipline myself, to learn to concentrate, to multitask less, and to finish more. Turn off the TV, turn on the music. Close the laptop, open a book. Yeah, that sounds good. It's my new mantra. And screw waiting until January. I'm starting now. :D I feel very motivated.

HAIR, Y U NO BUTT-LENGTH ALREADY?

I am cleaning my room, listening to E-Type (Free Like A Flying Demon- good song), looking forward to a hot chocolate later and maybe a couple hours of playing my old Jak 2 game. I have nothing to complain about.

:D

I'm oddly happy despite a hefty art final that I have to do and mom's chemo tomorrow. I'm not complaining at all, this is a very nice mood I'm in.

Here's a random picture of me I just found, lookin like an elf. :P I am a weirdo.

Crash Bandicoot Warped!

Happy (late) Thanksgiving! Food was good, spending time with family was better. I am a happy girl. :)

I feel like playing old PlayStation games all day, not even getting out of my pajamas.

I might be getting a puppy! My aunt has a Blue Heeler puppy (mixed with something else, I forgot) and she told us we could have it. She's so cute!! We would have brought her with us, but my dad went insane and didn't want us to take it just then. So we're getting her in December. If my dad doesn't change his mind, which wouldn't surprise me. Fuck that, though, I'm taking her whether he wants it or not.

Also, this is the cutest monkey ever. This coming from a person who dislikes monkeys very much.

THE NEW EVENESCENCE CD IS MINE!

I also bought a controller for my laptop. Cause computer games are fun, but using the keyboard sucks.


Oh, that's right, I had a list of things I had to do this week. ^^; I'm going to give myself the weekend to finish it. Yeah.

Um. I'm off to write or draw or something.

Changed the theme! Brown is soothing, methinks.

Nyeh nyeh nyeh. I don't know what to say. I didn't do much today. Worked out in the morn. Treadmill and then ab blaster from fit tv. Something like that. Then I watched a couple of episodes of Lost while I worked on one of my school projects. I'm now going to paint a little angel for my grandma. I hope she likes it. :D I talked with some people in my art class about videogames and stuff, and I feel like a complete noob compared to them. I am a noob. :P

And. Yeah. It seems like all my post end like this nowadays.

YALALA ...

Today was the first day of school. Teacher was very cool. I  don't feel much like writing a lot, but I thought a little update was in order.

Um, I got a PS2 game in the mail today: GrimGrimoire. Also, I got two posters:

Hmm, what else? I've been drawing stuffsies. May do an art post later. Hrm, maybe. I already have some homework. >:(

Watching - Doctor Who: The End of Time

Not much is new. I've finished a few drawings though:

I'm going to Los Angeles tomorrow for father's day. I'll be staying there until Sunday. We're going to the Getty Museum. It's become a sort of a tradition that pretty much whenever we're celebrating my father, be it for father's day or his birthday, we usually go to the Getty Museum.

I've finally broken my internet addiction, pretty much painlessly. Though, it might be because I found a new addiction: Animal Crossing for the DS. Gahh, it's so fun! :P

I've also started writing, hopefully, this story will stick!