TL;DR. Ye be Warned

I am so tied to my computer. It's an addiction, it really is. I'm thinking of restricting my internet usage a lot for the next year; A resolution, if you will.

It became clear to me this past week, when we were starting our final project in my drawing class. I had so much trouble coming up with an idea. (As whined about in this post) All I could think about was, "The internet will save me! The internet will give me ideas!" instead of coming up with ideas on my own. It's like I've become lazy when I have to be creative. Like I have no mind of my own. Instead of thinking something up myself, I check online to see what other people have come up with.

It explains the serious lack of writing, the major writer's block I have, and the artist's block. Another thing that sucks up any creativity I may have is mindless browsing. There is really no need for me to check my facebook and email more than twice a day, really. And yet, I spend my time on the internet clicking on yahoo and facebook and youtube over and over and over again, as if I expect something to change.

It's also been affecting my concentration. I never, ever have only one tab open. (even now. I'm typing this up and watching Fire and Ice on youtube.) If I ever, do, I quickly open a new one, because it feels like I should save time by multitasking. Now, I notice that even when I'm doing something not computer-related, I have to be doing something else too, just to save time. When I'm doing that, I don't fully concentrate on either thing.

Another thing that's bee a problem with me lately is spending way too much time watching TV shows. I feel like I'm watching too many at a time, ad I can't even keep track of what happened in which show. I swear, right now I am watching Battlestar Galactica, Clannad After Story, Mushi-Shi, Last Exile, X-Files, Avatar The Last Airbender, Doctor Who, and Firefly (the last three for the second time). Lost and Doctor Who alone have cost me most of my year. Now, I'm a lover of a good story, so I am definitely not cutting out TV shows altogether, but I am going to limit how many I am allowed to watch at one time (probably two is all I can handle).

Now, I don't want this post to be just about the things I am going to cut out, but also what I am going to focus on this year. Reading, for one. I miss the feeling of getting sucked in to a story to the point of not being able to put it down, to the point that I cry at a character's loss and cheer at their successes. I have not gotten to that point in hardly any book that I've read this year, because of my internet-an-tv-fueled ADD. I've read a fair few books, but too sporadically. So a focus on reading for next year.

Playing video games may come as a surprising thing to focus on, but it is something that I have too long abandoned. I am talking specifically about Final Fantasy X and X-2. I miss the satisfaction of leveling up and defeating bosses. It is something that required quite a bit of dedication. I am one to replay old games like Spyro the Dragon and Jak 2 and Shadow of the Colossus over and over, never moving on to new games. So, finishing FFX and X-2, and trying out new games. Skyrim and KOTOR are on the top of the list.

Writing and art are, obviously, a huge thing I want to focus on. I still have to many characters in my head whom are begging to have their stories told, and I will not let them turn to dust. I have too many dreams that should have been drawn and made real, but have sadly wasted away in a brain that goes in a million different directions and has no time to concentrate on anything. I need a little bit of discipline.

Also, blogging. I still like blogging, because if feels like a grown up version of journaling, but I need to update less when I have nothing to say. I think I have one too many posts that just say LOL NOTHING'S HAPPENED BUT I FEEL LIKE POSTING MY FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS ANYWAY. No more. (I still may need to vent sometimes, but that's different.)

In conclusion (I know, finally) I really want to discipline myself, to learn to concentrate, to multitask less, and to finish more. Turn off the TV, turn on the music. Close the laptop, open a book. Yeah, that sounds good. It's my new mantra. And screw waiting until January. I'm starting now. :D I feel very motivated.

Watching Serenity :D

I'm addicted to the computer. Very addicted. I'd like to use it less this summer. Just maybe in the morning, check my email and all that, and a little for just browsing, or whatever. At maximum, an hour of aimless browsing. I seem to get trapped when I use StumbleUpon or something dumb like that. I just can't stop.

Here's a little song that kind of shows how I feel ;P

This is like my fourth post today lol

I looked back at my resolutions and realized that I have already tackled quite a few of them. Here they are, the finished ones are highlighted in blue.

• Walk to school as many days as possible.
• Read 50 books this year.
• Post on this blog as much as possible. (daily postings, baby!)
• Practice my Spanish and French. (I've been studying French aplenty, need to work on my Spanish)
• Get my driver's license, also, learn to drive properly.
• Start playing Final Fantasy XII again, and finish the game. (Very close to finishing it. Just need more time)
• Write a whole novel!
• Make new friends.
• Drink more tea instead of coffee.
• Paint and draw and perfect my art style. (been painting a little, not even close to how much I wanted to, but a little counts)
• Learn to play one song entirely on the piano. (Evanescence - Hello. One day I'll record myself playing it and singing to it.)
• Get a tattoo.
• Organize and clean my entire room, including my hazardous closet. (Done and done! My room is awesome.)

 So pretty much all of the scary and/or difficult ones are left. I will get to them eventually.

So Many Books, So Little Time.

On my previous list of "resolutions" one of them was that I wanted to read 50 books this year. This may seem like a lot to some and not that much to others, but for me, it's actually quite a lot. I am in love with reading, and if I had a lot of free time on my hands, I could probably read this amount easily. But I have a busy year ahead of me, so it's going to be a little tricky. I am going to have to fill every minute of free time I have with reading.

My awesome list (May be read in any order):

1.       The Lord of the Rings – The Fellowship of the Ring

2.       The Lord of the Rings – The Two Towers

3.       The Lord of the Rings – The Return of the King

4.       The Changeover

5.       The Brothers Lionheart

6.       Leviathan

7.       Behemoth

8.       Goliath (third book in series?)

9.       A Great and Terrible Beauty

10.   Rebel Angels

11.   The Sweet Far Thing

12.   Witch season – Summer

13.   Fall

14.   Winter

15.   Spring

16.   Cien Años de Soledad

17.   Harry Potter en español

18.   Harry Potter en français

19.   The City of Beasts

20.   The Kingdom fo the Golden Dragon

21.   The forest of the Pygmies

22.   Around the World in Eighty Days

23.   Demon in My View

24.   The Hunger Games

25.   Catching Fire

26.   Mockingjay

27.   The Way of the Witch

28.   The Golden Compass

29.   The Amber Spyglass

30.   The Subtle Knife

31.   The Two Princesses of Bamarre

32.   The Awakening

33.   The Summoning

34.   The Reckoning

35.   The Last Enchantment

36.   Dragon Rider

37.   The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe

38.   Prince Caspian

39.   The Voyage of the Dawn Treader

40.   The Horse and His Boy

41.   The Silver Chair

42.   The Magician’s Nephew

43.   The Last Battle

44.   East

45.   Thirteen Reasons Why

46.   The Eternal Enemy

47.   The Starlight Crystal

48.   Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret

49.   Eat, Pray, Love

50.   Anything by Zilpha Keatly Snyder

Most of these I have sitting at home, some I'll have to get from my library, and some I'll have to order from Amazon. Let the adventures begin!

Also, a little update on a painting I am working on.

For my mom.

New Years Resolutions... More Like Friendly Suggestions

• Walk to school as many days as possible.
• Read 50 books this year.
• Post on this blog as much as possible.
• Practice my Spanish and French.
• Get my driver's license, also, learn to drive properly.
• Start playing Final Fantasy XII again, and finish the game.
• Write a whole novel! (Seriously, I've got about seven or eight unfinished stories just gathering dust in my USB.)
• Make new friends.
• Drink more tea instead of coffee.
• Paint and draw and perfect my art style.
• Learn to play one song entirely on the piano.
• Get a tattoo.
• Organize and clean my entire room, including my hazardous closet.

These are the tattoo designs I've been working on. I really like the whole symmetric, balanced look the flowers have.

This is Marne, a character from one of the stories I've not been working on.

I have really specific and list-like resolutions like this every year.  They just seem easier for me to follow than a generic I want to lose ten pounds, or I want to be healthier. I like writing lists. They make the jumble of thoughts in my mind easier to follow and understand. Do you know what I mean?