TL;DR. Ye be Warned

I am so tied to my computer. It's an addiction, it really is. I'm thinking of restricting my internet usage a lot for the next year; A resolution, if you will.

It became clear to me this past week, when we were starting our final project in my drawing class. I had so much trouble coming up with an idea. (As whined about in this post) All I could think about was, "The internet will save me! The internet will give me ideas!" instead of coming up with ideas on my own. It's like I've become lazy when I have to be creative. Like I have no mind of my own. Instead of thinking something up myself, I check online to see what other people have come up with.

It explains the serious lack of writing, the major writer's block I have, and the artist's block. Another thing that sucks up any creativity I may have is mindless browsing. There is really no need for me to check my facebook and email more than twice a day, really. And yet, I spend my time on the internet clicking on yahoo and facebook and youtube over and over and over again, as if I expect something to change.

It's also been affecting my concentration. I never, ever have only one tab open. (even now. I'm typing this up and watching Fire and Ice on youtube.) If I ever, do, I quickly open a new one, because it feels like I should save time by multitasking. Now, I notice that even when I'm doing something not computer-related, I have to be doing something else too, just to save time. When I'm doing that, I don't fully concentrate on either thing.

Another thing that's bee a problem with me lately is spending way too much time watching TV shows. I feel like I'm watching too many at a time, ad I can't even keep track of what happened in which show. I swear, right now I am watching Battlestar Galactica, Clannad After Story, Mushi-Shi, Last Exile, X-Files, Avatar The Last Airbender, Doctor Who, and Firefly (the last three for the second time). Lost and Doctor Who alone have cost me most of my year. Now, I'm a lover of a good story, so I am definitely not cutting out TV shows altogether, but I am going to limit how many I am allowed to watch at one time (probably two is all I can handle).

Now, I don't want this post to be just about the things I am going to cut out, but also what I am going to focus on this year. Reading, for one. I miss the feeling of getting sucked in to a story to the point of not being able to put it down, to the point that I cry at a character's loss and cheer at their successes. I have not gotten to that point in hardly any book that I've read this year, because of my internet-an-tv-fueled ADD. I've read a fair few books, but too sporadically. So a focus on reading for next year.

Playing video games may come as a surprising thing to focus on, but it is something that I have too long abandoned. I am talking specifically about Final Fantasy X and X-2. I miss the satisfaction of leveling up and defeating bosses. It is something that required quite a bit of dedication. I am one to replay old games like Spyro the Dragon and Jak 2 and Shadow of the Colossus over and over, never moving on to new games. So, finishing FFX and X-2, and trying out new games. Skyrim and KOTOR are on the top of the list.

Writing and art are, obviously, a huge thing I want to focus on. I still have to many characters in my head whom are begging to have their stories told, and I will not let them turn to dust. I have too many dreams that should have been drawn and made real, but have sadly wasted away in a brain that goes in a million different directions and has no time to concentrate on anything. I need a little bit of discipline.

Also, blogging. I still like blogging, because if feels like a grown up version of journaling, but I need to update less when I have nothing to say. I think I have one too many posts that just say LOL NOTHING'S HAPPENED BUT I FEEL LIKE POSTING MY FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS ANYWAY. No more. (I still may need to vent sometimes, but that's different.)

In conclusion (I know, finally) I really want to discipline myself, to learn to concentrate, to multitask less, and to finish more. Turn off the TV, turn on the music. Close the laptop, open a book. Yeah, that sounds good. It's my new mantra. And screw waiting until January. I'm starting now. :D I feel very motivated.

Isis Astarte Diana Hecate Demeter Kali Inanna

I feel like I should write more than I have. I want to make it a habit to write every day, just like I make it a habit to draw everyday. On the days that I don't, I feel the effects of withdrawal. It would make it easier for me to actually finish a story for once. :/

Blergh. < That's my mood today. I really don't want to go to school today. Just a couple weeks left...

What does it meeean???

I'm on the last season of Lost, and all I can say is GODDAMN FINALLY. I like this show and it keeps me really hooked, but sometimes I want to punch the writers in the face. And fuck them especially for killing off Sayid. (Oh, wait... he's alive!) Also fuck them for boring us with Sawyer-Kate-Jack love triangle. Still, I expect some answers.

My couch is annoyingly squeaky.

I am going to force myself to write and draw today. Now that I seem to have found my muse! :'D

Shark week alert.

OMG teary from a Hallmark commercial. "Traditions are for keeping us together..." ;_;

~~~~~~~~~^~~~~~~~~~ duh dun... duh dun... duh dun DUH DUN DUH DUN DUH DUN!! ;P

Ooh, and I just now realized that it's National Novel Writing Month. I think it's too late to sign up now, but I'm going to focus on writing this month.


Fuck cramps. >:(

I had a bacon cheeseburger today.

The Spanish-dubbed version of Napoleon Dynamite is hilarious, but for an entirely different reason than the English version. I usually don't mind English dubbing of foreign movies, but I never thought of how it might sound in reverse. Now I know. o.O I'm pretty sure they only have two voice actors for the entire movie, one female and one male.

So, I've wanted to write and illustrate a children's book for a long time now. Thing is, it's really hard. I know, I know, how fucking hard can it be? But for some goddamn reason, it is. Like, I kind of know what the theme is going to be, and the main character, and even a little bit of the plot, but I'm still having slight issues planning how it's going to look. I want the drawings to be the main focus, but I want the writing to be entertaining, too. Maybe I'm thinking too much into this. -__-

Estradia is still my main focus, though. ^_^

Te quiero puta! Hehe Rammstein *heart*

To Do Next Week 10/10 to 10/14:

• For the love of all that's holy, FINISH THAT BOOK YOU STARTED READING LIKE A MONTH AGO. Seriously, it'll take you three hours, tops. Just turn off the damn computer for one evening and do it!
• Register to vote. Don't stress about the political party. As long as you're not a Republican, you're golden. 
• Write one chapter of your Estradia novel. Just one. Don't worry about the planning, you'll fix that later. Just, ONE, chapter, is that so hard?
• Drive. Drive anywhere. To school, to Ralph's, to Target, to downtown Chula Vista. Everywhere. Work your way up to the highway.
• Think very very seriously about what I want to do next semester. If you're thinking of declaring a major, talk to a counselor about it. If you're going to work, THEN APPLY FOR A GODDAMN JOB!!! It's not that fucking hard.
• You're doing pretty good at keeping your room organized, so keep it up. Don't listen to your mother who tells you that it's too cluttered. It's not clutter, mother, it's just my room's personality.
• Start selling your art. Your family wants to buy some of it. You need the monies. DO IT.
• Go to the library and check out books on Egypt. 'Cause you know you want to.
• Oh, yeah, and do that homework thing for your jewelry class. And buy paper for your drawing class.
• Remember that Draw It Again meme you were planning on doing? Get off your lazy ass and do it.

That sounds right.  The reality is I'll probably accomplish about seven of these, maximum. I'm an idiot. Je suis une idiote. Une belle idiote. Hehe. Sometimes I pretend I speak French.

I tried to draw Simba from the Lion King. LOL NEIN. Animals are hard to draw.

DMV tomorrow. Cannot effing wait. Man I hate that place. And the people who work there. They're all perpetually grumpy. N'aime pas.

Anyway, I said in a previous post that I wanted to read the entire Harry Potter series (for like the seventh or eighth time, no joke) in one sleepless weekend. Well, I am going to make it happen! Tomorrow is Day One of Harry Potter Madness (after the DMV obviously). Yay! I have no life and I know it. No need to point it out. :D

Hey, I'll probably get tons of ideas for a fan fiction! Oho, more proof I have no life! So many exclamation marks!!!!!!!

Going to sleep now on account that I'm waking up at seven tomorrow. -__-

I like turtles.

I'd like to get back in the habit of writing on this blog again. I still think Livejournal is cooler, but I already have so many posts here, so yeah.

Well, I've been seriously fleshing out my Estradia novel. I've started writing again, and I've been drawing the characters. Here's a sneaky peek (I also did character profiles on them, very long ones that I don't feel like posting here, but they're in the description of the drawings):

This one is the crappy one I did at four in the morning:



Zeline Tammen by ~Dannygirl123 on deviantART

And this one is better:



Rodan Evardos by ~Dannygirl123 on deviantART

I'm also working on something for my sister's best friend's 15th birthday. (I guess she's my friend too, haha, but it's more accurate to say my sister's friend.) Huh, that's weird. My sister and her friends are 15 fucking years old. For a moment there, I felt old. Is that sad?

I'm still reading Interview with a Vampire. I'm not sure if I like it yet, even though I'm halfway through the book. Heh, I guess I don't like it much, which is strange, since I loved the movie. Usually books are better. Next on my reading agenda is Kitty and the Midnight Hour, which seems like a very cool book.

Listening to Delerium

Productive day today. Mom has chemo, so I helped out around the house and stuff. It's kinda weird, but washing dishes and cleaning in general makes me feel not lazy and even kind of important. I know, weird. I guess I feel somewhat guilty when I'm just drawing and stuff, because I think people see me and say to themselves, Look at her, sitting there wasting time. I know it's a dumb thing to think, making assumptions is unwise, but I still feel a little bad.

Anyway, I've really began writing now. Planning the story, really, a very important part of the writing process. lol

Picture of my Sasha making a funny face and Loony napping behind her:

Watching - Doctor Who: The End of Time

Not much is new. I've finished a few drawings though:

I'm going to Los Angeles tomorrow for father's day. I'll be staying there until Sunday. We're going to the Getty Museum. It's become a sort of a tradition that pretty much whenever we're celebrating my father, be it for father's day or his birthday, we usually go to the Getty Museum.

I've finally broken my internet addiction, pretty much painlessly. Though, it might be because I found a new addiction: Animal Crossing for the DS. Gahh, it's so fun! :P

I've also started writing, hopefully, this story will stick!

So... after like ten hours of sleep, I finally feel like a weight is lifted from my shoulders. No more essays! 

I still have a few more Finals to get through, but the hardest one is over and done with. EEEEEEE!

Also plenty of overdue assignments in French to do.

I really want to start writing again. I have a good idea for a novel. :D Now I just need the time to write, which I will have very soon.

ART!

I forgot about the art I was supposed to post two days ago. Oh well, here you have it now!

a 

A little background on the first picture: I started writing this super-elaborate novel four years ago about a world I made up called Estradia. (It turned out to be too elaborate for a fourteen-year-old. ^^;) In Estradia, there are four kingdoms; Falias, Khet, Aithor, and Kanja. I was randomly sketching out this girl, who was just supposed to be a princess or something. My brain suddenly thought, This is the princess of Falias! and from there, I started thinking up her story. I may decide to write it all out some day. Maybe this summer, when all I have is time.

Anyway, I'm also kind of pissed today. My parents are so set on me going to university some day, and I don't know if I want that. I mean, why waste so much time and money if it's not even going to be good for anything in the long run? I don't want to be a "recent graduate drowning in debt and working at a job that doesn't pay enough to relieve the debt." I want to be the person with a decent enough job that I'm not going hungry and I can pay for a small apartment.

I really want to focus on my art and writing, though. That's my main goal in life, to be a really good artist/illustrator. And maybe write a few good books. I'm not looking to be rich or famous.

If high school is taking over all my time, leaving me with no downtime, imagine how shitty I'm going to feel when I'm trying to finish a ten-page essay or studying for finals. Art isn't just talent and a burst of inspiration. It takes time and effort. I have zero energy and time for those things, I'm so burned out from trying my hardest not to fail my high school classes.

The worst thing is that I'm never good at explaining these things to my parents, so I just sound like a lazy, whiny rebel who doesn't want to do anything in life. I don't plan on living with my parents forever. I will get a job, I will live on my own. I'm not going to be a burden on them.

Rant over. :) I really needed to get that out.

Comic idea

I have an idea for a comic. Er... for my Harry Potter fanfic. Like a little snippet of my writing made into comic form.
Yeah. Cause it's awesome.
It's not completely done yet, but it's awesome.
Just kidding.

Hehe, am watching 90's SNLs. Funny.

I want my hair to be this long:

Perhaps even longer.

Chipmunk Face

So far, Chipmunk Face Day has not been too bad. I am quite a bit rounder than usual, but I haven't gotten to this point yet:

 

Grandparents are here today. I will be sleeping in my parents room today. I'm not complaining though. My grandparents are cool. 

Ha, I've been reading a lot, but nothing them from my list. I should have known I wouldn't stick to it. Whatever, at least I'm reading, right? (For the record, I'm reading: Hold me closer, necromancer by Lish Mcbride; A great and terrible beauty by Libba Bray; A fistful of sky by er... someone. Will check author later.)

Listening to this:




I am dying to write. Thing is, I always bounce around from story to story, never getting a single one done. I am ADD when it comes to certain things. :/

I'm also feeling vaguely like this today:

I'm super hungry. I don't want more soup!!!!!! I want chips and lasagna and cookies. I guess I'll go have some chocolate pudding.

LOL MIDNIGHT

WEBCAM WHORE!!!11

So, appointment for the removal of teeth is in less than eight hours. I should get some sleep.

I did CRAPLOADS of work today... I feel oddly satisfied... until I remember the craploads I have yet to do. Endless torture, endless I say!

When I grow up I want to live off my WILDLY SUCCESSFUL novels. Yet now, with school, I cant even write. Fuck, I can't even read anything besides school shiz. No art for me.

WE ARE FAMISHED! YES! FAMISHED, WE ARE, PRECIOUS!

Ahem. I'll get some sleep now.

...no crunchable birdses...

Friendless

A few weeks ago, I was feeling all lonely and friendless and stuff, and I got the urge to write about the kind of friend I would like to have. So this is what I came up with (it was three in the morning, so I was a little loopy):

"I want someone who will talk with me for hours on end about how much Fox sucks for canceling Firefly; How badass Jayne’s hat is; How awesome it would be to be a bender, like Aang and Katara and Toph; What it would be like to live in Middle Earth, or Hogwarts; The pros and cons of being a Griffindor, or a Ravenclaw, or a Hufflepuff, or a Slytherin; How awesome it would be to be an expert archer or katana wielder; The best place for leveling up in Ivalice and Spira; Final Fantasy strategies; and the like.

I want a friend who will dress up as Vampire Hunter D, or American McGee’s Alice, or a steampunk Airship Pirate and have a photo shoot. Someone who will conjure spirits with me, freak out at the tiniest noise with me, sleep with the lights on with me. Someone who knows that the nineties was the best time for cartoons and tv shows. Someone who has a dark and twisted sense of humor. Someone who will sing the Phantom’s (or Christine’s) words of Down Once More  with me. A friend who does not murder the English language unless being ironic (liek hai, OMG lawl). 

I want a friend who is a-ok with sarcasm and wit. A friend who stays up all night reading. Someone who sees art and poetry and beauty in everything. Someone who respects nature and understands that, really, humans are not the biggest or the baddest things out there.

 I want someone whom I can tell everything to, and he or she would not judge and would understand. I want someone who accepts my need to wake up in the morning and dwell on my lingering dreams.

Someone loyal, supportive, understanding, and properly geeky. I’d return the favor."

Sometimes I feel like the only geeky person on the planet. I can't be the only one with such diverse nerdy/cultural interests. Can I?

Anyway, a little update on my art. I wanted to make something for my little sis, and I got inspired by one day when we were making cupcakes. Here is the process:

Sketch

Outlines

Mid-coloring

Finished!

Also, a little look at my grand work space:

Grand!

My opinion on Twilight

It's been a few days since I posted, mostly because I didn't know what to write about. Oh, and I was busier than I've been in years. But this morning I got the idea of posting my views on the infamous Twilight. So, here goes:

First off, I am one of those who read the entire Twilight series. I am not the person who read one chapter and couldn’t stomach the rest. Those people are very much entitled to their opinion, and I can definitely understand it. Twilight has just as many haters as fans.

I enjoyed the Twilight series. Yeah, that’s right. With that said, I don’t pretend that Twilight is a masterpiece. I fully comprehend that it is not very well-written and more than a little insane. Nevertheless, I liked reading it. It is fluffy, frilly, and cheesy, but enjoyable. 

The thing that really bothers me about Twilight is the fanbase. Those rabid girls who worship Twilight and  take it so seriously. (They’re called Twi-hards, right? That always makes me imagine the girls getting the equivalent of a boner whenever Twilight is mentioned.) Edward is a god to them and Bella is everything they want to be. I find this incredibly ridiculous. Once Twilight becomes more of a bible than fluff-reading, things get unhealthy.

Edward is not the greatest at relationships (examples are numerous, including stalking Bella, watching her sleep, and making her dependent on him), and Bella is, frankly, a bore.  The two of them share have the sort of relationship that is funny to read about, but really sad when fans try to emulate it.  

I think the main point is that it saddens me to see that novels like Twilight are what people today consider great literature. Also, it pains me to see such a sad, sparkling mockery of a vampire. Dear god, what has happened to the world?

For your enjoyment, here are some of my favorite Twilight-bashing art. Yes, I like Twilight, and I like bashing Twilight. Haters gonna hate.All drawings from deviantArt. First up, Why Bella is a Mary Sue:

By Whitedog1

Bellatrix Lestrange y'all. By Makani

By StressedJenny

By EmpressFunk

By Shinga