Auf Wiedersehen to this blog.

I have a new blog now: my very own livejournal! It makes me a little sad, because I feel like this blog has been a good friend, but I have wanted an LJ for a while.

So that's that. I may still snoop around here every once in a while, mostly to see the people I'm following.

It's been fun!

TL;DR. Ye be Warned

I am so tied to my computer. It's an addiction, it really is. I'm thinking of restricting my internet usage a lot for the next year; A resolution, if you will.

It became clear to me this past week, when we were starting our final project in my drawing class. I had so much trouble coming up with an idea. (As whined about in this post) All I could think about was, "The internet will save me! The internet will give me ideas!" instead of coming up with ideas on my own. It's like I've become lazy when I have to be creative. Like I have no mind of my own. Instead of thinking something up myself, I check online to see what other people have come up with.

It explains the serious lack of writing, the major writer's block I have, and the artist's block. Another thing that sucks up any creativity I may have is mindless browsing. There is really no need for me to check my facebook and email more than twice a day, really. And yet, I spend my time on the internet clicking on yahoo and facebook and youtube over and over and over again, as if I expect something to change.

It's also been affecting my concentration. I never, ever have only one tab open. (even now. I'm typing this up and watching Fire and Ice on youtube.) If I ever, do, I quickly open a new one, because it feels like I should save time by multitasking. Now, I notice that even when I'm doing something not computer-related, I have to be doing something else too, just to save time. When I'm doing that, I don't fully concentrate on either thing.

Another thing that's bee a problem with me lately is spending way too much time watching TV shows. I feel like I'm watching too many at a time, ad I can't even keep track of what happened in which show. I swear, right now I am watching Battlestar Galactica, Clannad After Story, Mushi-Shi, Last Exile, X-Files, Avatar The Last Airbender, Doctor Who, and Firefly (the last three for the second time). Lost and Doctor Who alone have cost me most of my year. Now, I'm a lover of a good story, so I am definitely not cutting out TV shows altogether, but I am going to limit how many I am allowed to watch at one time (probably two is all I can handle).

Now, I don't want this post to be just about the things I am going to cut out, but also what I am going to focus on this year. Reading, for one. I miss the feeling of getting sucked in to a story to the point of not being able to put it down, to the point that I cry at a character's loss and cheer at their successes. I have not gotten to that point in hardly any book that I've read this year, because of my internet-an-tv-fueled ADD. I've read a fair few books, but too sporadically. So a focus on reading for next year.

Playing video games may come as a surprising thing to focus on, but it is something that I have too long abandoned. I am talking specifically about Final Fantasy X and X-2. I miss the satisfaction of leveling up and defeating bosses. It is something that required quite a bit of dedication. I am one to replay old games like Spyro the Dragon and Jak 2 and Shadow of the Colossus over and over, never moving on to new games. So, finishing FFX and X-2, and trying out new games. Skyrim and KOTOR are on the top of the list.

Writing and art are, obviously, a huge thing I want to focus on. I still have to many characters in my head whom are begging to have their stories told, and I will not let them turn to dust. I have too many dreams that should have been drawn and made real, but have sadly wasted away in a brain that goes in a million different directions and has no time to concentrate on anything. I need a little bit of discipline.

Also, blogging. I still like blogging, because if feels like a grown up version of journaling, but I need to update less when I have nothing to say. I think I have one too many posts that just say LOL NOTHING'S HAPPENED BUT I FEEL LIKE POSTING MY FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS ANYWAY. No more. (I still may need to vent sometimes, but that's different.)

In conclusion (I know, finally) I really want to discipline myself, to learn to concentrate, to multitask less, and to finish more. Turn off the TV, turn on the music. Close the laptop, open a book. Yeah, that sounds good. It's my new mantra. And screw waiting until January. I'm starting now. :D I feel very motivated.

Pontypool review, AKA, the Only Movie That Has Scared Me In Years.

I love scary movies, and I love the feeling of being scared. However, I haven't been truly frightened by a movie since I was about ten. Until last night, when I watched Pontypool.

I don't know if it was the fact that I watched it in the middle of the night with the lights off, but for some reason, in the middle of the movie, I had to pause it, go to my parents' room just to make sure they were there, and then return to the movie. I know. I actually felt fear when watching a movie.

Let me start off by saying that this is not your usual scary movie, at least not at first. There is no blood and gore until the second half of the movie (which is admittedly not the better half of the movie, but I'll get to that in a bit). It gets to you by playing on your primal fear of the unknown. It leaves you with a feeling of dread and unease, because you don't see what's happening, you're being told what's happening outside. You could almost close your eyes and it would scare you just the same, since it is being told as a "radio play." As you start to understand, you also begin to fear for the safety of the characters, because by now, you feel you are one of them.

The second half, as I said, isn't its strong point. It gets a little illogical. I won't spoil it, but it gets a little out there, and all feelings of uncertainty give way to incredulity. However I'm not saying it's unwatchable. It's well worth seeing until the end.

*SPOILER*


The only problem I had with this movie was the illogical explanation for what was happening. A virus? That spreads by words? It seems to me that all attempts to make this sound believable failed. All logic was abandoned. I really think the writer could have thought of something better, but I suppose that this movie wasn't really anything more that symbolic, but I'm not up to analyzing anything today.

Listening to Epica. Epica is God.

My hair is very insane today. All I did was scrunch it, and this is how different it looks!

Which is weird, because usually all I do is... not scrunch it. Never thought scrunching was so powerful.

Don't like my fringe area though. The hairs are annoyingly short and thus they frizz the most. Oh and apparently, all of the red from my last dye job has faded to a sad brown. I must re-dye soon.

Oh, god I just realized I haven't had a single glass of water today. That explains the Sahara desert residing on my tongue.

So, crisis averted from last post. I am going to draw two cowboys, an old western showdown. Shut up, it makes sense in my mind. <.<

Uh, so. Semester's almost done. I have two essays to write. For my art classes. yeah, I know. Stupid.

Anyway, doing some quizzes, not because anyone cares, but because I'm bored.

What Mythical Creature are you? Your Result: Elf Elves are skilled, intelligent craftsmen and warriors. An elf will devote his or her life to a certain trade, and thus become the best in the universe at what they do. Elves are commonly very quiet and reclusive, causing them to be shy. However shy, they are not naive and posess a great deal of knowlege and wisdom that seems to be inherited at birth. Elves are immortal, and very dedicated to nature. They walk in harmony with their surroundings, but are not wholely over emotional beings. Love is not thought of as deep or passionate for these creatures, but rather a pairing, or mating that is ultimately result in offspring.
Nymph
Vampire
Siren
Werewolf
What Mythical Creature are you? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Cool. I guess.

You Are 25% Left Brained, 75% Right Brained

The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning. Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others. If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic. Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet. The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility. Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way. If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art. Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports.

Are You Right or Left Brained?

Blogthings: Waste Time at Work!

Yay.

Your Mind is Purple

Of all the mind types, yours is the most idealistic. You tend to think wild, amazing thoughts. Your dreams and fantasies are intense. Your thoughts are creative, inventive, and without boundaries. You tend to spend a lot of time thinking of fictional people and places - or a very different life for yourself.

What Color Is Your Mind?

Blogthings: Learn Something Surprising About Yourself

K.

You are a Romantic Realist

Okay, so you fall in the middle. You know that love isn't like a greeting card... Yet you can always find a greeting card to describe your feelings. You are the best of both worlds Girly yet independent, dreamy yet serious. Almost any guy can find balance with you.

Are You a Romantic or Realistic Girl?

Blogthings: Our Quizzes Weren't Written By Bored 12 Year Olds

YOU SEE MEN, I'M A FUCKING DREAM TO BE WITH- ahem. Look away.

You Were A Famous Poet.

Where You Lived: Egypt. How You Died: Decapitation.

Who Were You In a Past Life?

Blogthings: Cheaper Than a Therapist

In a previous life, because it fails to state this. Jackpot? I totally knew this, anyway. :P

asdnjakfboiqerfbqoe

I have procrastinated on my art project, and now I have no idea what to do. The project is to show action and reaction. Like, a political cartoon, maybe, but it could be anything that shows action and reaction. BUT I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO. I was going to draw Jane Austen sitting at her desk with a bunch of female authors standing behind her, kind of symbolizing how Austen made it more mainstream to women to publish their work. But then I researched a bit more, and I realized that Jane Austen wasn't exactly viewed as anything more than "cute" until the 1940's. SO THERE GOES MY IDEA. I don't like Jane Austen anyway.

So I'm too ashamed to go to class today. Except I have to, for the grade. With any luck, some people will have theirs done and will critique, so I can get some ideas. :(

Sims not working, FFX seems like a good alternative. :)

Feel better since the last post. Writing really helps. I haven't talked to my mom about it, but I don't think I will. She'll just get defensive, and I don't want that right now.

I was trying to install the Sims 3 on my new computer and it wasn't working, then I realized that it has been scratched into oblivion. And I know who did it. My sister owes me a new one. >:( That wench never puts disks back in their boxes. I am annoyed.

I really want to play Skyrim. From what I've heard, it seems like a very cool game. :)

Christmas decorations are up in my house. Everything feels so Christmasy and nice.

I need to let off some steam.

Dear mom,

I don't know if you do it because you are concerned or if you just have no filter, but I really don't appreciate you criticizing my body. "Sit up straight so your stomach doesn't stick out" and poking my stomach while making a face is not an okay thing to do when A) I'm already well aware of my belly fat, B) I'm actually working on it, even if you don't believe it, and C) It's not your problem anyway.

I mean, Jesus, do I really disgust you that much? Am I an embarrassment as a daughter? It's no secret that I had TONS of body image issues when I was younger (and still have my moments of feeling gross). I even told you about that time I starved myself for a week.

WHY DO YOU FEEL THE NEED TO POINT OUT MY IMPERFECTIONS? I ALREADY MAGNIFY THEM OUT OF PROPORTION SOMETIMES, I DON'T NEED YOU MAKING IT WORSE.

Oh, and when I tell you that your comment hurt me, you tell me I'm too delicate. If I ever did that to you (which I never will, because I have some goddamn consideration) you'd be pissed too. If you ever get the urge to point another thing wrong with me, just remember that I have feelings too. I think sometimes you forget.

-Dani

O WAIT HOLY SHIT IT'S DECEMBER HUH. IT'S BEEN DECEMBER FOR A WHOLE 23 HOURS AND 15 MINUTES.

Whine whine whine, feel free to roll your eyes at me.

It's weird how much I've grown to hate my metal class. Not the people in it, nor the teacher, but the goddamned subject. Let's just say that if one of my past selves lived in the Medieval Period, he or she was not a metalworker by any means. Ugh ugh ugh, I'm already dreading my grade. And I can just picture my parent's reaction. A totally justified reaction, too, because they were the ones who paid for the class.

One of my worst qualities (which is kind of hard to admit) is that if something doesn't interest me, I don't care enough to do a good job on it. Take my SAT's, for example. My dad forced me to take it. I didn't want to take it, I thought it was kind of dumb. I didn't study for it until the night before the test, and I didn't sleep well that  night. Kind of explains why I failed so dismally.

I know that in the long run this stupid little class won't affect me much, but right now, it's annoying.

Omnis Mundi Creatura - Helium Vola

I have teeny tiny 2 pound weights here next to my bed. I want to use them several times a day, gain even a little muscle. Yeah. I've also started using the Wii Fit again. (omg was it mean when it weighed me) Small steps toward being healthy again. I have lost five or six pounds since this summer, but I want to be back down to 125 or less. I gained weight during the Great Black Hole of 2009-2010 (two years of my life that seemed to have disappeared. Seriously, zero happened during those two years. They are lost to me forever.), about fifteen pounds in total, five or six of which I've lost already.

So, Wii Fit, walking on the treadmill, bellydance (shut it), little weights, pushups (2 sets of 20 reps). And trying to eat smaller portions. 

Yeah, I know. Cool story, bro.

Isis Astarte Diana Hecate Demeter Kali Inanna

I feel like I should write more than I have. I want to make it a habit to write every day, just like I make it a habit to draw everyday. On the days that I don't, I feel the effects of withdrawal. It would make it easier for me to actually finish a story for once. :/

Blergh. < That's my mood today. I really don't want to go to school today. Just a couple weeks left...

HAIR, Y U NO BUTT-LENGTH ALREADY?

I am cleaning my room, listening to E-Type (Free Like A Flying Demon- good song), looking forward to a hot chocolate later and maybe a couple hours of playing my old Jak 2 game. I have nothing to complain about.

:D

I'm oddly happy despite a hefty art final that I have to do and mom's chemo tomorrow. I'm not complaining at all, this is a very nice mood I'm in.

Here's a random picture of me I just found, lookin like an elf. :P I am a weirdo.

Crash Bandicoot Warped!

Happy (late) Thanksgiving! Food was good, spending time with family was better. I am a happy girl. :)

I feel like playing old PlayStation games all day, not even getting out of my pajamas.

I might be getting a puppy! My aunt has a Blue Heeler puppy (mixed with something else, I forgot) and she told us we could have it. She's so cute!! We would have brought her with us, but my dad went insane and didn't want us to take it just then. So we're getting her in December. If my dad doesn't change his mind, which wouldn't surprise me. Fuck that, though, I'm taking her whether he wants it or not.

Also, this is the cutest monkey ever. This coming from a person who dislikes monkeys very much.

And at last I seeeee the liiiight!!

Cousins are here, I've been spending time with them.

I have been replaying this video for like an hour.




I'm going to watch Tangled now. Bye.

I want the Doctor Who theme as my ringtone.

I was just starting to feel shitty. I came on here to bitch about it and everything, and then I started watching an episode of Doctor Who. I INSTANTLY FEEL BETTER. Doctor Who is a god. It may be the closest thing I have to an actual religion.

Cousins are coming over tomorrow. The house is clean. My new computer needs an internet connection.

Short post is short.

Playing with the big boys now

Gyuuuuh! The Lost ending was... well... good. Not perfect, but hell, if I was the one writing this show, I wouldn't have thought of a better way to end it besides **SPOILERS** killing everyone. I may have shed a tear, there were a lot of touching moments. But anyway, as much as I enjoyed this show, I am glad it's over. There are tons of other shows out there I need to watch.


Sayid by *ObsessedGirl on deviantART

I'm thinking of starting on Battlestar Galactica. I've heard it's good.

I read some old journals of mine. Damn, I was a messed up, violent kid. Explains why I'm a messed up teenager/young adult. I'm a lot less ashamed of myself, though. I know what I am and I'm not afraid to show it. As much as reading the old notebooks made me go "Whut." they also made me proud at how far I've come.

COMPUTER MASCHINE PANZERMENSCH

Freshly dyed hair... *sniffs it* Still smells like harsh chemicals. *Looks at it in the mirror* And it's still not red enough. I'm slowly building up to my ideal color. Mind you, my natural color is black, so at least this is something.

I'm, like, an episode away from the finale of Lost. Now they killed Sayid, and Sun and Jin, those damn writers. They offed all my favorite characters. I haven't been this annoyed since they killed off Ana Lucia.

Back hurts, I think I pulled a muscle while moving furniture around my room. It's nothing too bad, but it's annoying.

My cousins from Guadalajara are coming to visit this Friday and staying for Thanksgiving. I am happy, I miss them. :)

I have a feeling I'm going to wake up with a red-stained pillowcase tomorrow morning.

This made me laugh a lot. I'm going to try it with Luna. :P

What does it meeean???

I'm on the last season of Lost, and all I can say is GODDAMN FINALLY. I like this show and it keeps me really hooked, but sometimes I want to punch the writers in the face. And fuck them especially for killing off Sayid. (Oh, wait... he's alive!) Also fuck them for boring us with Sawyer-Kate-Jack love triangle. Still, I expect some answers.

My couch is annoyingly squeaky.

I am going to force myself to write and draw today. Now that I seem to have found my muse! :'D

Shark week alert.

OMG teary from a Hallmark commercial. "Traditions are for keeping us together..." ;_;

~~~~~~~~~^~~~~~~~~~ duh dun... duh dun... duh dun DUH DUN DUH DUN DUH DUN!! ;P

Ooh, and I just now realized that it's National Novel Writing Month. I think it's too late to sign up now, but I'm going to focus on writing this month.


Fuck cramps. >:(

Random thoughts of the morning.

Hmm. Ren faire was really cool. I wouldn't mind going again in the spring, this time in a much better outfit.

Mom starts another round of chemo tomorrow, and today my dad is going out of town and isn't coming back til Friday. I feel like a huge coward for wanting him here. I feel like I should be able to take care of my mom myself, but I get scared sometimes. Whatever, he's gone now.

Daylight savings is obsolete. 

I feel like a big pile of shit today. I have since last night. I can't draw at all either, so that's not helping. I seem to be a big empty creative-less shell.

Mmm... bacon...

Whee, I am going to the Renaissance Faire today!!! I'm so excited.

I am going to take a shower now, which means that it will be very cold. D: I abhor showering in the morning.

I also happen to have about four hundred dollars to my name right now, which I am going to use to buy myself a new laptop. Any old cheap thing will do, I just want it for games and my art. :) Anything will be better than the stupid laptop I was using for art. Yeah, it still won't turn on. It's reached the end of its life. RIP.

I am also hungry, and I'm craving bacon.

edit: Mmmm, bacon. <3

Listening to my Delerium cd- Chimaera :'D

I am trying to reboot my old laptop. Problem is, I don't have a recovery disk or even the instruction manual. That plus the fact that the shit isn't even turning on is driving me insane.

I am taking a small break from this and making myself the first hot chocolate of Autumn. :>

I love autumn. I used to be a summer kind of girl, but this year, not so much. And it's still raining and I love it. So, overall I am happy today.

Picture of me, the insane cat lady:

I didn't plan this outfit at all. Those are my old as dirt Hello Kitty pajamas I've had since I was probably eleven, and the shirt was the first one I pulled out of my closet. And Luna. <3

Are you going to Scarborough Fair...?

I watched Stardust yesterday, and I loved it. <3 OMG, I'll be honest when I say I'm not a huge fan of Robert De Niro, but the scenes with him and his ship's crew made me laugh. Oh and OF COURSE BEN BARNES WAS IN THE MOVIE. I swear, I'm not stalking him. ;P He just likes me, I think.

I am probably going to see the new Twilight movie. Not by choice, either. My friends are FORCING me to go with them. TO THE MIDNIGHT OPENING SHOW. I may just ditch them. Psh, I'm not happy about having to waste money to go see a movie that I will not like.

Oooh, and it raining today. It's perfect, I don't have to go out either. :D I think it's hot chocolate time! Yay!!

There is a Renaissance Faire in Escondido this weekend and damn it I WANT TO GO.

'Cause sick people are high-larious!

I am crocheting meself a scarf. We'll see how it turns out. It just really needs to be layers-wearing and hot-chocolate drinking season already. It'd be nice to have someone to cuddle up to, as well. My kitty Luna will have to do, I guess.

Watching Firefly right now. Haha, Simon is so awkward. Bahaha and did Jayne just call Inara, "Eye-nehra?" I love Jayne, that pretend-dumb brute. Whyyyyy was this show cancelled?!?! I need a 'Browncoat' shirt. Let my geek-flag fly!

Oooh, I realized my mom threw away a bunch of old towels, among them one of my favorites. It was Lisa Frank. This made me grumpy. Don't judge me. (First World Problems)

Also, the Halloween candy? Got to go. I probably already gained five pounds.

Ow... I think the cramps are starting. This is not good. :(

Justin Bieber couldn't have gotten a girl pregnant, his balls haven't dropped.

I really hate school sometimes. It's all a really big goddamn hassle. I just want a nice job that pays relatively well (not even well well, just something that pays enough). But no. I have to go to school and get a degree, because according to society, if I don't go to college I'm a failure.

...They're probably right. I'm such a lazy, cowardly piece of shit. I wish I had the balls to be my own hero. I'm too quiet, too shy, too fucking complacent, and, contradictorily, too restless and too much of a dreamer. I seriously don't know what to do with myself sometimes .

I want to go out there into the world, guns blazing, but I'm too scared. I really loathe the coward inside of myself. I'm in a constant state of discontent and waiting. I always seem to be waiting for something to happen instead of doing shit myself.

Ugh. I need some kind of personality transplant. I need a TON of growing and changing to do.  Why am I so goddamn lame? Is it genetic? Were my parents this shy and cowardly? I find that hard to believe. They both seem so tough.

Ffffffffuuuuuuuuuu- I think it's close to That Time again. -__- Okay, enough hating on myself. I'm going to watch Lost or something. Yeah.

~*Disneyland Post*~

Disneyland at last! I'm kinda busy right now, so this is going to be kinda quick.


First off, my dad dropping us off at Disneyland:

 
Paulina:

And me:

Newlyweds!

This part of the Jungle Cruise made me laaaugh.

Can you spot Mickey Mouse in this picture?

Paulina's model picture. She tried to recreate this face in all of the other pictures, but she wasn't able to, lol.

The great Walt Disney:

Paulina and I were unsure about this pumpkin's effectiveness.

Being silly. :P

Mmm, pretzel with cream cheese.

Small World was closed. :(

Pizza break.

Tired of standing in line:

So I guess I tried to wake myself up, lol.

Pau has the glazed, tired look on her face.

Uuugh, these shoes completely murdered my feet. I still have the blisters.

Paulina says I look like I have a double chin here:

And that's it for now. I have tons to do today. I have to clean the house cause yesterday my friends and Pau's friends came and now there are soda cans and candy wrappers everywhere. Better get cleaning.

Happy Halloween!

Whoop! Back from LA! I have some unpacking and cleaning up to do, and class at three, but a full Disney Post is on the way!

Also, yay Halloween! I really want to dress up today for school. Hm, yeah, I think I will. Pictures of this later, too!

*Covering ears*

OMFG. These ladies are goddamn LOUD. O.O

...Rescue me from them, daddy! D:

Urgh, they're leaving soon, I think.

Holy shit, and one of them just told me that if someone calls for her, to tell him that she's going to be back at six. ...She was fucking serious, too. WHUT.

I just want them to leave before they all start crying for my mother's poor cancerous soul. God dammit, EVERYONE WHO MAKES THAT MUCH OF A MOTHERFUCKING DEAL, the woman's getting a hell of a lot better, she's not knocking on Death's door just yet. This isn't a fucking funeral. >:(

I swear on my pretty floral bonnet, I will end you.

I am sitting here, alone in an immaculately clean house. My mom's off at the airport waiting for a couple of her friends to arrive. I hope she gets back before several other friends get here from Tijuana, cause if not, it means I have to greet them. -__- Don't much feel up to it.

... I've been watching Firefly again, which explains why I'm speaking all western-like. ^-^ Love love love that show. Damn you, Fox. Curse you forever.

This is awesome:

Urk! I think the ladies are here. :(

Listening to the Prince of Egypt soundtrack

Looks like my brain is just trolling me. This night I dreamed I bought a delicious strawberry-banana smoothie at the mall, and a crazy lady came up to me and asked, "Can I have a sip? I want to know if it's worth my money..."
I stared for about two seconds and then yelled, "NO YOU CANNOT HAVE A SIP. WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU? I DON'T WANT YOUR HERPES."
My exact words. So, yeah, kinda funny, but not as good as yesterday's dream.

Paulina, my dad, and I are all going to L.A. on Friday on account that my mom is having a huge all-weekend slumber party with some of her friends from university. O.o So yeah, there won't be any room for us in the house. I ain't complaining though, cause Pau and I are going to Disneyland on Saturday!! Pretty excited!

I thought there was something else I wanted to add, but... for the life of me, I cannot remember what it was. It must not have been important.